For those of you who are asking, “What is Payton Place,” it has nothing to do with Walter or Gary or even Peyton Manning. Ask your mother, or aunt. I am sure she will know, and you will probably understand why your dad told you he didn’t know, even though, just by looking at him, you knew he did.
Here is the latest gossip. It appears that Google, the quarterback of our local high school football team, was caught looking into the girls locker room and Facebook noticed. Now Facebook has “filled out” nicely in the last year or two, so all of the boys are trying to sneak a peak at her data. After all, boys will be boys.
Facebook was furious and felt violated, she decided to get her best girlfriend Burson-Marsteller, also known as the school gossip, to spread the word that Google was a total perv in the effort to smear his name to the point where no self respecting girl would ever date him again. Burson-Marsteller went all out with the campaign even getting stories written in, not only the school newspaper, but the village weekly. (The Washington Post, Politico, and The Huffington Post.)
Some of the more inquisitive kids in school thought that there was something a little odd as Burson-Marsteller wasn’t what you would refer to as a looker. So they did a little snooping around of their own and found out that Facebook was giving Burson-Marsteller a jelly donut every time she heard the rumor spread a little farther. This didn’t take a whole lot of detective work as everyone knew about Burson-Marsteller weakness for jelly donuts, and she had recently put on about 20 pounds, so everyone knew she was up to something.
Well at first Burson-Marsteller denied everything, but Facebook kind of flinched and admitted to the whole scheme and ran home crying.
On the way home, or so she says, apparently Facebook ran into Bing, the captain of the baseball team at the local college. Last night they were seen in the back seat of Bings Gate’s-Mobile up on Lovers Lane, and, from what I heard, it was not a conversation that they were having.
Is it true that Bing is really the evil MS with a comb-over? Does Facebook care?
Tune in tomorrow for the next installment of “As the Social Media Turns!”